There are no headlines for everyday heroes there is no tickertape no standing ovation
sometimes it's all they can do to set their feet on the floor in the morning
they go through their days the best they know how
no rainbow need arch through the sky to inspire them they have a special courage shining deep inside
they go through their days the best they know how
Ted Hibbard
This came into my inbox today while I was at clinical.
Today, I could not wake up. My alarm went off, I took a shower, threw on my scrubs, ate a bowl of Cheerios in record time, and left for clinical. We were supposed to be on OB today and next Friday, but our instructor said since everyone has seen births, we had an option of not going to clinical next week and going to campus instead. It's December, and we're all dead. Guess which option we chose. So today was our last day in clinical for obstetrics. We're done. (Well, next Friday we have presentations, course evals, and an "educational" movie, but that doesn't count.)
I begged to go to OB Triage today simply because our instructor was confused and assigned other people to Labor & Delivery and I sure was not going to do Postpartum again. Plus, a lot of births were going on so I figured Triage would be a happening place (Any pregnant patient who comes to the hospital is sent up to OB Triage. They could have the flu, a broken bone, or be in labor - most of them know to come to OB Triage and the ones who go to the ER get sent up anyways.)
Not a single patient came in until probably about 11am. It was all insane from there. December 1st was a full moon, so don't ask why it all happened today, 3 days later, but it did.
We got a woman who had a stomach virus (and was vomiting so loudly that I almost wanted to do so myself) and we loaded her up with a cocktail of phenergan/benadryl/reglan. Then we had a woman who had a scheduled C-section (4th baby, 4th C-section!) who needed prepped. This was my favorite patient because I got to start her IV! Now, rumor has it that no one teaches us IV insertion in nursing school. Apparently it's the orientation responsibility of wherever we get a job. That always sounded stupid to me, and thankfully my instructor isn't into going by all of the program rules. (I love her for it though - she's smart about it, she just has a much more creative, free-spirited approach to nursing) Everyone knows though that one of the meds I'm on make my hands shake. As in a tremor kind of shake. I'm a steller phelebotomist (or I was in my nurse technician days) but sometimes it freaks patients and instructors out. So my instructor felt my hands to see if she wanted to "let" me try the IV. Not even kidding. Then she randomly puts her hand on my stomach and says, "Wow, your entire body tremors." Yeah, welcome to the misery. I told her I was comfortable doing it and thought I could, so after I told her what med I was on and she about attacked me to find out why the doctors make me take it (umm, because I'm allergic to every single aternative?) she finally agreed to let me attempt it. She asked me what I'd need to start an IV and draw some blood (I voted for the 22 gauge, but the RN said I had to do an 18 - scary!), we reviewed the exact steps the process entailed, and I beautifully gathered all of the supplies in a Chux and carried them into the patient's room. (Of course I know exactly what you need to start an IV - I've only had like 100 in my lifetime...)
Oh and let me just insert here that Jen (my bestie) taught me how to do an IV (at my kitchen table - just like the time she taught me how to draw blood!) but I completely blew her vein. She told me to try again, and I was too traumatized by creating a huge blood bruise to accept the offer. I had just asked her this morning to come over this weekend so we could practice again. Too late!
So the patient was African American and didn't have good veins at that. So not only were her veins harder to see, but they just were crooked, deep, or way too "wiggly." I put the tourniquet on and felt around. I finally found a hand vein that curved back and forth but it was the best she had. My instructor liked the site and told me to go for it. I inserted the needle, bevel up, and there was no flash. I was panicking when my instructor said, "Push it in just a little more." Flash!!! I pushed the button to retract the needle and threaded the catheter in. Blood started spurting everywhere (that's a good thing!) so I quickly connected the adaptor and popped a blood vial in. Full. 2nd vial. Full. I removed the adaptor and popped the IV tubing on. Beautiful. I got a warm rag to clean up the blood on her hand, and we covered it with a Tegaderm and taped the tubing securely. I had primed the Lactated Ringers so I opened the line and let it go. (I guess in Triage they just "eye" it and don't put it through a pump.) Drop. Drop. Drop. The LR were infusing perfectly in an IV that I had put in. It was working! Then later I piggybacked 2 bags of antibiotics, and they worked, too! (Why they wouldn't, I have no idea. But I was still on IV-high.) I had an issue with the 2nd bag, but the RN said sometimes it's just the position of their hand, and sure enough, we had the patient place her hand a different way, and the med started infusing. Good to know.
The day I performed my very first blood draw on a real patient (Jen doesn't count) I was teching and I called and texted pretty much everyone I knew (and Twittered!) and about died from excitement and pride and well, it was a little weird how excited I was. Well, that was nothing compared to the IV. The feeling of knowing I could successfully insert an IV made me feel almost like I'm a real nurse now - the IV is always the "big, scary" thing that everyone is petrified to do. Well, I've done it, and I did it well. So I can do it again. And it feels sooooo good! Major high. Other than things involving my fiance like our engagement, first kiss, picking out the ring, blah blah blah, oh and maybe getting accepted into the nursing program, or the birth of my furbaby puppy, it was probably one of the most exciting moments of my life. (And if you're not a nurse or nursing student, you probably don't get it - that's okay.)
Wow, I use a lot of parentheses. So many thoughts!
Anyways...
That was the highlight of my day, and I spent the rest of it helping check in new patients and then wasting time. Not kidding. The story...
We had this huge rush of new patients in Triage, all with what they called "contractions," one who said, "I'm not sure, but I think my water may be leaking. I don't know," and then a couple women who both said their due dates were tomorrow so they were sure they were in labor. Funny because most of the patients were in such early labor we couldn't even admit them. Anyways, I went in with the nurses and helped put on the fetal and contraction monitors, get their urine samples, answer questions, get their data... etc. After awhile, everyone was just chilling because that's what the Triage patients do - they sit there for a couple hours (unless they're obviously in active labor) so we can read a good amount of monitors to see what stage of labor (if any) the patient is in, and how the baby's heartrate is. I think it's more like a "we know you're not in labor, but we need to legally cover our butts" kind of thing. Not sure, but that's my theory because it's kind of monotonous. And yes, most of them end up being sent home. If you're contractions aren't under 5 minutes apart and completely regular, if you are in no obvious distress and have not had your water break, don't come to the hospital. The nurses and doctors don't mind, but you will be very, very bored and miserable waiting and watching and then being sent home.
So Triage got quiet really fast. Everyone just waiting to be sent home to walk around, have sex, do whatever they want to get their labor going faster. Then they'll probably be back tomorrow in active labor. It's crazy.
Our instructor said if we were bored, we could go study in the conference room. A lot of things happened in the morning and early afternoon, so there were a few of us who were bored out of our minds by 2:30/3. We went to the conference room and rested, talked, went to the cafeteria (yes, just because we were bored and hungry), came back, talked some more, and just waited for postconference. We were all completely absent from our brains by that time, one of us had a broken arm, another hurt her back when a patient attacked her this week at her tech job (seriously!), a few were hungover, I was in extreme fibromyalgia pain and had a migraine coming on, and of course we all knew it was the last day on the floor. We were slaphappy and exhausted, and our instructor looked like death (she has fibro too and was having a bad day), so we all agreed to leave a little early.
And now I am typing this as I babysit (which is insane seeing how much pain I am in from this day) and will momentarily take a nap until Mom and Dad come home. I'm with my nanny girls, and L Bug's grandma watched her today and let her talk her out of taking a nap. I literally had to drag L Bug into bed as she's screaming, "I'M (sob) NOT (sob) SLEEPY (sob sob)!!!!!" She's barely 2 so it was kind of cute, but also distressing at the same time. She's never that bad. All I could think was, "I feel like sobbing and yelling I AM SLEEPY!!!!"
This nursing thing - although amazing and fulfulling and perfect- is going to physically take every last bit of me. 3 more semesters + a summer externship. It seems impossible, but I don't know what else to do.
Oh and as a side note, Jen (my best friend, remember?) took her boards yesterday and PASSED! She's an RN! She was going to reschedule her test but failed to do so within 24 hours so either had to take it without studying at all or waste the money and pay to take it again. She told me she knew she'd fail, but she figured she'd already paid for it and it would be good practice, so she went. And passed. Without studying. That is so my best friend. She texted me this AM and said "I know you're in clinical but I need you to call me ASAP." I snuck into a hallway behind a door and called her. We were both almost crying. It was such a great moment. Then she called me tonight. She techs at a hospital and landed a job on her floor, which she loves. Apparently she talked to the nurse recruiter this afternoon, and she's having Jen start orientation on Monday. Tomorrow is her last day teching forever. She's an RN, and she starts making an insane amount of money Monday morning. She will be working on her favorite unit, loving every minute of it, and making the living she's worked so hard for. Snaps for Jen. I'm so proud of my amazing, crazy soul sister. 24 hours ago, she thought she was taking a practice NCLEX and she'd definitely fail it, and right now, she is an RN and starts work on Monday on her dream unit. Absolutely insane. God is pretty awesome. Oh, and she has a new boyfriend too. First "real" boyfriend ever. It's so sweet when life is so good.
Today, her day, almost makes me forget how far away from nursing I feel after remember what I realize at the end of each clinical day - my body cannot do this job for more than a couple hours. My heart can, just not my body. Everything starts aching and throbbing and crushing and burning. My energy dips steeply at about noon, and then I drag. I come home and load up on percocet, a muscle relaxer, a pain patch, sometimes a zofran... and I sleep for 2 solid days. Then during the week, I forget how hard it was and look forward to the next clinical. Then it nearly kills me, and it happens all over again. I think it hurts my soul more than it hurts my body.
One of these days, life will be okay. One of these days...
We talked about Santa last week. We watched the Santa movie today. We went over all of the facts, details, and things to know. Like be a good girl, make a list, tell Santa what you want, go to bed early on Christmas, Santa comes..... So much excitement for a little girl who was barely a year old for her last Christmas!
L Bug was psyched to see Santa.
Nanny was bored, so hey, that worked with me. Got my bugs ready, loaded them into the car, and a half hour later, we were off. We drove up to Beachwood so Miss Amanda could also pickup a 2010 refill for her Coach datebook. ;-) Anyhow, the 20 minute drive was filled with L Bug asking the most random questions and then asking "WHY??" "Well, because it's cold outside." "But WHY??" "Because it's winter." "But WHY??" Sometimes you run out of creativity and just have to start ignoring "Whys" at a certain point! (Or it's possible to get to the point of wanting to scream at the top of your lungs. That one requires a lot of self control, though!) So 1000 "Why??"s interlaced with a fussy Baby Bug, and I was so excited when we finally got to the mail.
Until I took the double stroller out.
Now, my fiance sweetly put this together for me but I'm guessing I probably said something along the lines of, "No, don't show me how to open it - I'll figure it out" after he offered to demonstrate it to me. Right. I fought with it for about 15 minutes with both girls still in the warm car - L Bug screaming random things and Baby Bug screaming her head off (she hasn't mastered the art of retaining her own pacifier). I became so desperate that I asked 2 complete strangers to help me. (Neither had a clue.) It was freezing, and I hate strollers. So I give in and call the fiance. (He probably rolled his eyes and remembers wanting to show me how to do it in the first place) and he so sweetly downloaded manuals and Googled until I finally found some random lever that released the entire crazy fancy contraption into a whoa- big, long double stroller! Snapped it into place, put L Bug in the front with a snack, put Baby Bug in the back with a blanket, everyone buckled in tight, and off we went.
Good thing we were parked at Saks Fifth Avenue because the doorman saw me coming. (Macy's does not have doormen.) He got the doors for me as I drove around this ginormous stroller contraption for the very first time. After all, this was our first real going-somewhere outing with bothL Bug and the new baby!
"Look, there's Santa!" I told L Bug. "NOOOOOOOO!!!" I told her something about how nice Santa was, blah blah blah, and decided it would be a good idea to run to Coach and save Santa for last.
Coach done. L Bug having a panic attack about Santa. Nice Coach lady tells L Bug how amazing Santa is. L Bug didn't buy it.
Sooooo we get up to the big jolly man who must have been the real Santa because he was just perfect. He was so nice and tried to calm L Bug, but to no avail. She held onto every side or piece of the stroller she could, screaming and kicking. Meanwhile, one of Santa's helpers had given Baby Bug to Santa, and she was having a blast just sitting on his lap playing with her fingers and making faces. "See, your sister is having fun with Santa. I bet she told him what she wants for Christmas. How will Santa know what to get you if you don't tell him?" Skip ahead like 10 minutes and I finally get the kid out of the stroller, into my arms, digging herself into me, "NOOOOO SANNNNNTAAAAA!!!" Hoping I'm not traumatizing her for a lifetime of fearing Santa like some kids fear clowns, I sat down next to Santa and told him what I wanted for Christmas. He then asked L Bug what she wanted. She played shy and just looked at him. "A dolly?" "You love baby dolls, L Bug!!" Her eyes got big. Still red and wet, but big. Then Santa's helpers said they were going to take the picture. 1-2-3, L Bug was ready to bolt as soon as the shutter went down. Santa gave her a lollipop and said to have a MERRY CHRISTMAS!! L Bug did not want the lollipop and did not wave bye-bye to Santa. I did.
Then the whole way home, L Bug cries "My coat.... I don't like my coat...." then "My boo boo, I pinched my boo boo....." then "Snack.... I need a snack....." (ok, more like "Nack, nanana, whiiiiiine, but you get the idea) Baby Bug has meanwhile fallen asleep (yes, amongst her sister's noise- how? I have no idea) and L Bug is just going on and on about how she hates her coat and her booooo boooo and where is her bunnnnnnny.....
We finally got home, and had lunch, over which L Bug excitedly told me "Santa is bringing a big doll to my house!!" (Santa, ahem?)
Yesterday I was dreaming on the highway. It was around 6:30am and I envisioned myself side-swiping the truck next to me. When I got home about 12 hours later, I realized it wasn't a dream. Go look at my car if you don't believe me.
Tonight I had my girls so Mom and Dad could go to a charity function. My tiniest (10 weeks) decided she wasn't going to go to sleep, so I rocked her back and forth, back and forth. Seconds turned to minutes, minutes turned to hours, back and forth, back and forth. Then, as my heart was breaking deeper and deeper, all of a sudden, it happened again.
The dreaming, I mean.
This same nursery was all of a sudden in my own home. A beautiful wood crib, a dresser, a sweet little lamp, and those coos that can stop you dead in your tracks. There was a baby here. Finally.
I closed my eyes, and I was in the suede/microfiber rocking chair and ottoman set that I have in my basement all ready for when this life finally happens.
Back and forth, back and forth.
The door was ajar, the tiniest bit of light peeking through. It widened, and I looked up.
Jonathan came in.
I looked down into my arms at this precious manifestation of love, hope, and sheer miracle, and then my eyes met the ones I loved first. He kissed me softly before peering down at our daughter and kissing her forehead. He didn't have to speak a word. His eyes said every feeling in his heart.
And that was it.
Then my heart was ripped out again as I realized that dream may never be reality. Sure, I can dream of getting hit on the highway and that will come true, but the most honest, purest of things? I can dream it every single night, and yet I'm still here alone, yearning, grieving.
A long time ago, many different people told a pained, confused little girl that Jesus loved the little children, all the children of the world. Their eyes looked so sure. Maybe they were. Or maybe the little girl was still too naive to know any different.
It didn't take long for her to realize that those children grow up. And then what? Are they lonely like me? Why?
I took my sleeping meds, Jonathan kissed me goodnight, and I was asleep within seconds. I woke up completely wide awake probably around 1-something. I made myself stay in bed hoping I'd doze off, but nope. I read my blogs, went a little too crazy downloading new iPhone apps, worked on cleaning out my inbox, you know... things you can do mindlessly while you're exhausted but cannot sleep. I laid in bed until my alarm went off at 5:30am when I took a shower, got prettied up, loaded up my nanny bag, and set out at 6:30am for work. The sun wasn't out yet, but it wasn't dark either. Kind of grey and yucky. Then I thought of how hard this schedule is going to be in winter when the sun doesn't come up until much later. I'm a sunshine person - if the sun's out, I focus better. I can get more things done. On rainy days, I could just take a nap and hang out in my pajamas all day.
So anyways, I get to L Bug's house and she comes running up to me: "UPPP pweeeease!!" (Baby #2 is due on Wednesday and I don't know what we're going to do about the whiney "UPPP pweeease!" habit...) So I pick her up, we say bye to Mommy and Daddy, and then we go out onto the porch like every other Wednesday and wait for Mommy's SUV and Daddy's truck to pull out of the driveway and do "beep beep." So Mom and Dad honk their horns several times (it's still only 7am, mind you) and L Bug yells "Bye bye!" and "Beep beep!" as she waves until both cars are out of sight. Then it's playtime.
I try to plan an event each morning for her because you just cannot keep a 23-month-old busy in the house from 7a-5p. We aim for walks, strolls around the park, meeting my friend Kim at the wading pools at the other park... things like that. I'm excited to incorporate Kindermusik, Storytime at the library, and maybe even art lessons when summer is over. She's at such a fun age.
But for today, it was our planned zoo day, so we trekked up to Cleveland and met my mom and sister. Then we walked all around the zoo. L Bug would get so excited about certain animals, and others, she'd scream at the top of her lungs, try to stand up in the stroller, and reach high in the air while desperately saying, "UPPP pweeeease!!" Weird, I know. The highlight of her day though, I believe was the monkeys. She calls monkeys "hee hoo ha has" since that's the sound they make. At each and every monkey exhibit, she would wave hello to the monkeys and say, "HI!" She would giggle and giggle as they swung on ropes, ran around, and did random monkey-ish things. And when we were done with one group of monkeys and moved on to another, she would wave and scream "Bye bye hee hoo has!!" or rarely, a complete, English "Bye bye monkeys!!" It was very cute.
After 2 hours or so, L Bug was exhausted and I wanted to get her home for naptime (we are big into routines right now because of Baby #2) so we ate our picnic lunch and then I took L Bug home, tucked her into her bed, turned on her classical music, switched on her fan, sang"Jesus Loves Me" twice (she begs "More Jesus, more Jesus!" until I sing it a second time), gave her a kiss, and closed her door. Fast asleep. And that right there is the only reason I am blogging right now. I finally have a spare moment!
Life has been out of hand lately - crazily wild and stressful and overwhelming! I have finals for my three summer courses beginning tomorrow, and I'm getting ready for fall semester starting August 31st. I'm busy ordering my textbooks, Nikki's textbooks, parking passes, etc., and I have Little M on Mondays, L Bug on Wednesdays, and Baby L on Saturday nights. (She is finally outgrowing her colic... you have no idea how wonderful it is!) I'm still juggling appointments and medical stuff plus a lawsuit now from my car wreck 2 years ago. I just got involved with my region's organ donation group, too, and I'm up to big things there. (Stay tuned!) I'm re-starting physical therapy, too, and I decided to contact all of my I-miss-you friends and schedule them in. You have to make time for things like that no matter how busy you are. I've learned that. Life is short, remember?
Anyways, tonight we're going to Grandma's (Jonathan's grandma) for dinner like we have been doing every Wednesday for awhile now. She makes the best pasta ever - it's spaghetti with covatel noodles. I could eat it all day long, mmmm! I like it, too, because Jonathan and I drive around 40 minutes to get there, and it's nice to just have "chat" time. :) We hold hands and discuss whatever strikes our fancy, and yes, sometimes we kiss at red lights. ;-)
Oh yes, and it is time for our church's annual yard sale so my mom and I have been going nuts in the basement getting rid of all of the stuff we can find. It's actually kind of fun. I like getting rid of stuff and reorganizing. It's in the air right now... probably because fall is coming. I love fall. The colors are just gorgeous and the leaves inspire all kinds of change. Good change. Then comes the holidays. I hate the holidays because it's all so cliche, but I absolutely adore the holidays because of all of the friends and family you get to be with. The memories are precious.
So I'm going to eat a snack before L Bug wakes up because otherwise, I will be sharing my snack. lol Then Mom will come home, we will discuss the new baby schedule, and I'll go home where Jonathan will pick me up and go out to Grandma's! Yay! Oh and tomorrow I will be starting midterms . So studying might be a wise idea, too?
Thanks, friends, for hanging in there with me - I promise to try harder to make time to share. Life is so amazing, but it's just happening way too fast right now. I can't keep up with it as hard as I may try!
Oh and did I mention I'm completely and utterly exhausted? Thank goodness I can sleep in tomorrow!
I've been so busy lately, but so much fun (and drama...) has been going on!
Nannying, as usual. Little M has stolen my heart - as I knew she would. The girl who would throw tantrums and scream at me now tells her mommy I'm her favorite babysitter ever. On Sunday I found out that I wasn't the only one sad about her going back to preschool in August. Mom told me she couldn't take me away from Little M and asked if I could keep her one afternoon/week. I think you know how the rest of the story goes. The list of kids who have stolen my heart is getting pretty long. Logical? Probably not. Predictable? Most definitely.
No new breaking medical news to report. Surprising, right? Just working on some big, tedious projects and lawsuits that involve record sifting and brain cramming and all kinds of fun like that. My insurance company owes me money, my car wreck has to be taken to court in less than 2 months (or otherwise it's too late to claim), my specialist and I are fighting my insurance company to appeal their denial of my transplant, and I have a few other similar things going on. Oh and there was yesterday. It started innocently enough... some lady on eBay decided she was going to go a little insane with the packing tape. Good packing isn't bad, I guess. BUT In my efforts to get through the tape and into the box with a big pair of scissors, I somehow managed to slice them into and across my left thumb. [Sidenote: Keep in the back of your mind that with my liver disease, I have an extremely low platelet (the stuff in blood that helps it clot) count, meaning when I bleed, it doesn't easily stop. Also because of the platelets, when I get a cut of any sort, it takes many weeks to heal. Because I have a very low amount of white blood cells, I'm at high risk for infection.] I hate to sound all exaggerating, but this cut was most literally just pumping out blood. Of course I applied pressure, and after a few minutes when it wasn't stopping, I called my mom. I was able to get a look at it through the blood, and it was a big half-oval kind of thing meaning there was a deeper gash underneath the flap of skin. I didn't get the impression it was going to stop without putting on a fight, but I didn't want to go to the ER over a tiny cut, so we called my primary care doctors office. They said they couldn't get me in for just over an hour. (Seriously.) They also said they didn't know if they did stitches there or not. (Seriously again.) So we called my insurance to see where we could go since they changed all the urgent care rules. After a disconnection and about a half dozen transfers, we finally reached a lady who gave us the name of an urgent care facility 10 minutes from my house. To make a long story short, we finally got the bleeding to stop (and with no extraordinary measures! yay!) and the doctor cleaned out my cut with betadine and then put Dermabond (a "Super Glue" for skin) all across the cut to seal it closed. He bandaged it up and I was good to go! I've never had real stitches in my life, and I'm thankful that there are so many stitches-alternatives for minor lacerations these days. Right now, my thumb is quietly throbbing a nice aching pain, but it's bandaged well, and I'm relieved I have Dermabond on it because my skin doesn't just heal on its own. Gotta love happy endings. :)
I've spent the last couple of weeks getting in touch with my great-uncle who has been hooking me up with all kinds of genealogy goodies, and last week, my grandma revealed her basement-full of albums that I'm scanning for her. I'm so excited about all of this since I've been meddling in genealogy since Nanna passed away. Plus I just love pictures! :) I must say... my dad was a pretty handsome looking young boy... (snicker snicker)
I'm SO missing my Nana. I think my mom is too because she's been talking about her constantly lately. Poppop comes over for dinner a few nights a week, and without fail, Nana comes up each night. Not that I mind - she has a beautiful legacy - but it still hurts so badly to even say her name. I especially hate when they talk about her last days on earth because I wasn't there. I had a flight all ready to go but my dad wouldn't pay for it thinking Nana would be gone before I got there. Well, Nana lived a few days after that and I never got down. If I had the money, I would have paid it anyways just for a chance to talk to her one more time. To see her face one more time. To touch the lines on her hands one more time. To tell her I loved her (and not on the phone), to tell her that her Mandy Mine was there with her.... one more time. Each day is getting harder, too, because her birthday is 5 days after mine... August 7th. My mom is wanting to make birthday plans for me, but every time I even think of my birthday, my mind instantly goes to Nana. When I see flowers, I think of her. When I go to Macy's and see an outfit she would have worn, I think of her, want to buy it, and then remember she's not here to wear it. Poppop was hoping her headstone would come in by her birthday, and I hope so too. We spent so much time making sure it was the perfect one for her, and as inappropriate as this sounds, I really am excited to see it. Nana deserves to be dignified in that cold ground with a lovely headstone on her birthday. It's really all we can give her, other than flowers. But trust me, there will be flowers. Lots of tear-stained flowers.
On a happier note, last Saturday I threw a graduation luau party for my bestie, Jen! I was trying to make it a surprise, but well, that didn't go over so well so I let her know at the last minute. It all worked out though and was so much fun. I am thrilled that she earned just enough gift money to cover her NCLEX fees! I was hesitant to throw her a party because of my health but all I could think of was how extra hard she worked for this degree, how huge an accomplishment this is for anyone, but moreso for her. She sacrificed everything to get to here, and she did it in 4 years and didn't give up once. I walked the journey with her and knew full well that she, of all people, needed to be honored. Plus, money was an issue with taking her NCLEX, and I wasn't about to let that happen. I figured if all of her friends gave a few bucks, she'd be well on her way to taking the licensure exam. And lastly, parties are just fun. Of course, the biggest reason here was honoring for her for her amazing drive and commitment and sacrifice though, so I talked with my mom and she agreed to help. She said we'd get catering and buy a cake, and my cousin Heather offered to help. A nurse at our church who knows Jen well offered to make food as well, and a few other friends pitched in. For the location, we were able to use (free of charge) the wonderful "clubhouse" at my Poppop's condo facility. Before long, we had a wonderful event coming together, and all of the pieces just fell into place. The party was a hit - everyone who came had fun, and I know for a fact that Jen was shocked and grateful and touched by what we were able to do for her. All of us are blessed to have amazing friends, and I love how we're always there for each other ... even when "being there" just means coming to have fun at a parrrr-tay! :)
On Tuesday, Jonathan and I went to the movies. 3rd time in a month or something, which is beyond a record for us. Before this run, we hardly ever went to movies! Anyways, I scored some advance passes to see "Orphan," and well, neither Jonathan nor I recommend it. It was slow and boring, predictable, and more of a thriller than a horror film. Oh well, screeners are always fun anyways, and who turns down a free movie?
You know what we did on Wednesday? Cleaned out his closet! We fought over a few things and had to do some item trades but overall, it went well and a lot of his out-of-style, have-way-too-many, and too-worn clothes are now being donated to our church yard sale. The Abercrombie & Fitch shirt from like 8 years ago is finally going away!! Fiancee is very excited about all of this. Here's the pile... And the run-down? 15 pairs of pants, 26 sweaters, 20 dress shirts, 15 tshirt, and 1 polo! Hooray!!
School started in full force on Monday. I'm in 3 online classes which are ending up being more like "busy-work classes." Since nursing isn't working out for me at the moment (but it will be... just not at this time), I'm working on Integrated Health Studies, and there's a few dumb classes I have to take to fulfill that - like Health, for example. It's my 5th year in college, Nursing major, and I have to take Health? Give me a break. Then the other 2 are Human Sexuality (it's actually more of a sociology class than anything) and Medical Sociology - 2 upper level classes. You have to have a certain number of "upper level classes" to graduate, and those were the only 2 that were online and applied to my major, so there you go. It's going to be a long 5 weeks!
Today I had Little M and the finger-cutting ordeal. I did have my first-ever chiropractor appointment, but I had to reschedule as I spent my appointment time going to the ER. It might have been a good thing I missed it though because my massotherapist did some intense fascial release on Tuesday and I'm still extremely sore from it. Tonight I have Baby L... my colicky screamer. Then Sunday I can breathe and Little M is going on vacation and my new nanny family (that I have yet to start with) is on vacation too, so Nanny gets a break!! (Aka, a few extra hours to do homework) Hooray! :)
Next week, lots of appointments, helping out at Shannon's VBC, a possible baseball game, then loads of babysitting over the weekend. Oh and school. Forgot about that. Blah.
But it's SATURDAY! No worries on Saturday! Happy Weekend & here's some funneh kittehs....
Jonathan sent me this next video... I told him the answer was NO!!
Last week, the weather was nice and Little M and I had cabin fever. I mentioned the zoo and she was so excited! I thought it was a great idea. The Akron Zoo couldn't be that big, and it wouldn't be that crowded since it looked a little overcast. It would only be a couple of hours, and we'd just have a relaxingtime walking around and seeing the animals. Yep, great idea! So I convinced the defiant 3.5 year old that my stroller was a "Big Girl Stroller," we packed a picnic lunch, and put sunscreen and other necessities into my Vera Bradley baby bag. We got Mom's zoo membership passes on our way out the door, and off we went!
So yeah, about that great idea...
The zoo was a chaotic nightmare!! I forgot it was Friday of the 4th of July weekend, so it was packed. Pushing a stroller bigger than myself uphill, downhill, and all around got to be quite a task. Little M wanted in the stroller. Out of the stroller. In the stroller. Out of the stroller. Then we saw the Animal Show that I bought tickets to, and of course they didn't bother opening the doors and removing the "Private Party" signs until 10 till, so we walked all around the area asking all of the zoo employees, and no one knew where it was. Finally I just waited by the sign since that's where the map said the show would be, and sure enough, the obscure location with misleading signs turned out to be where the show was. Little M wouldn't get off my lap for the entire show, and she grabbed me every time a snake or tarantula or bird came out. Then she had to go potty. 10 minutes into the show. Because that's what kids do, you know. I asked her before the show, and nope, she did not have to go potty, she assured me. Right. So that was the show.
Then we decided to go to the picnic tables and eat our delicious lunch of sandwiches, juice boxes, and munchies. We would have gotten a zoo snack, but smart nanny here didn't even think about bringing cash... (Note to self for next time!) So anyways, then we went all around the zoo using our misleading map seeing every type of animal possible with the ultimate goal of seeing jaguars. I have no idea why this child wanted to see the jaguars so badly, but when I read the list of all of the animals on the map, she told me that she had to see the jaguars. And of course, the jaguars were not well described on the misleading map. But we got there. We got to the mama and baby jaguars in a tiny habitat behind glass, and I felt sad for them. But Little M stared into the glass with amazement, excited to see what a jaguar was.
Then it was time to go home. Little M told me she was tired, which she never ever does, so I told her to just relax in the stroller. She was asleep - and I mean completely out - within 2 minutes. It took us about 10 minutes to exit the zoo and find my car, and when I carried her into her carseat, she didn't even stir. I buckled her in and she was still asleep - quite abnormal for the little girl who hates to miss a thing!
We went back to her house and told her mom allll about our very fun day (albeit a little stressful for Nanny!) We told her about the show, the animals, our lunch, the jaguars, the stroller, and how much fun we had. After I left for the day, Little M's mom sent me text message, "Just so you know, Madeline keeps saying you are her 'favorite babysitter ever'." The next 2 days, Little M's mom told me that the first thing she wanted to know each morning was whether or not Amanda was coming today. All this from the little girl who liked to cry and hit and throw temper tantrums and tell me she'd take care of herself and I could leave. She's finally adjusted to me. Ironic, since I only have 2 more weeks of regular nannying with her. After that, her family is going on vacation and when they return, she'll start back at preschool. Her mom assured me that I'd be their regular as-needed sitter though, so I'm very happy about that. Otherwise,
I am 22 & currently spend my days nannying my itty bitties + going to college (working on my nursing degree, goal: pediatric oncology) & am honored to be a published writer in a nursing anthology & a contributor to many scrapbooking publications. i love hanging with my amazing friends, sister & family. i love my baby puppy haylie brooke and our silly doggie ri-ri. in my rare spare time, i read & get crafty. i thrive on organization, my mac repertoire, learning & absolute fabulosity. my favorite place in the world is paris. my favorite color is pink. i love being a nurse & i believe each one of my patients is precious. i'm a night owl & wish my lifestyle promoted such habits. i like lazy jammie days. i believe in god and am thankful for his hand on my life. i believe that life is too short to be anything but happy, & i’m thankful that a chronic liver disease + the effects of a car accident have taught me important values that most people learn far too late. i hope that the world will find hope, and my idea of a good day is one in which i made someone smile :)
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We talked about Santa last week. We watched the Santa movie today. We went over all of the facts, details, and things to know. Like be a good girl, make a list, tell Santa what you want, go to bed early on Christmas, Santa comes..... So much excitement for a little girl who was barely a year old for her last Christmas!
Sooooo we get up to the big jolly man who must have been the real Santa because he was just perfect. He was so nice and tried to calm L Bug, but to no avail. She held onto every side or piece of the stroller she could, screaming and kicking. Meanwhile, one of Santa's helpers had given Baby Bug to Santa, and she was having a blast just sitting on his lap playing with her fingers and making faces. "See, your sister is having fun with Santa. I bet she told him what she wants for Christmas. How will Santa know what to get you if you don't tell him?" Skip ahead like 10 minutes and I finally get the kid out of the stroller, into my arms, digging herself into me, "NOOOOO SANNNNNTAAAAA!!!" Hoping I'm not traumatizing her for a lifetime of fearing Santa like some kids fear clowns, I sat down next to Santa and told him what I wanted for Christmas. He then asked L Bug what she wanted. She played shy and just looked at him. "A dolly?" "You love baby dolls, L Bug!!" Her eyes got big. Still red and wet, but big. Then Santa's helpers said they were going to take the picture. 1-2-3, L Bug was ready to bolt as soon as the shutter went down. Santa gave her a lollipop and said to have a MERRY CHRISTMAS!! L Bug did not want the lollipop and did not wave bye-bye to Santa. I did.
Yesterday I was dreaming on the highway. It was around 6:30am and I envisioned myself side-swiping the truck next to me. When I got home about 12 hours later, I realized it wasn't a dream. Go look at my car if you don't believe me.
