Oh not because happiness exists, that too-hasty profit snatched from approaching loss.
But because truly being here is so much; because everything here apparently needs us, this fleeting world, which in some strange way keeps calling to us. Us, the most fleeting of all.
. . . Ah, but what can we tke along into that other realm? Not the art of looking, which is learned so slowly, and nothing that happened here. Nothing. The sufferings, then. And, above all, the heaviness, and the long experience of love, - just what is wholly unsayable.
The Ninth Duino Elegy, Rainer Maria Rilke, trans. Stephen Mitchell
One night this week, I was just finding my seat in the theater, my little sister in tow, when I heard the older man a row in front of me notify us with a grin and a chuckle, "You know, folks, this is a 3-hanky-movie!"
I raised an eyebrow.
But he was right.
We were at the advanced screening for The Time Traveler's Wife, the film adaptation of the bestselling novel of the same title by Audrey Niffenegger. It wasn't the sob-fest the recent My Sister's Keeper ended up being, but yes, there were most definitely tears. See this film and your mind will be engrossed, your heartstrings will be pulled taut, and you will be in for a 2-hour roller-coaster ride through time, around time, and against time. You will be reminded of what love in it's truest, purest form is, and you will see the pursuit, dedication, and desperation of relentless adoration.
Henry, haunted by his past and suffering from a "genetic anomaly," is a time traveler. He can travel back and forward in time, but he cannot control the location or time of his travel destinations. He is lonely. On the other side, Clare is a beautiful girl from an affluent family who meets Henry as a young girl on one of her visits to the meadow near her house. Clare re-encounters Henry several times, and shortly determines they were meant to be. However, years pass before their lives intersect again. Both adults now, Henry doesn't recognize Clare but soon realizes Clare knows him and his "secret." Things fall into place and we see her fall head over heels in love with him without any reservations. The obstacle in this love, though, is, of course, Henry's time-travels and inability to control them. Henry and Clare long to be together without the restrictions of time. As with all loves, however, there are difficult forces working to divide them, and Henry and Clare take us on a charming yet emotional journey through their lives together and apart.
You may very well become stressed trying to figure out where in time each scene is, how old each character is in the scene, and if it took place before or after the previous scene. Pretty soon you'll catch the hang of it though, and you'll begin to enjoy the refreshing love despite all of the jumping around in time. Rachel McAdams and Eric Bana shine, and their chemistry onscreen is amazing. You'll feel like you're right beside them, wishing with all of your heart that their paths will cross again. You'll you'll feel their longing hearts beating throughout not only their dialogue, but also through their expressions. There's no denying you may recognize a love that transcends even time itself. Perhaps not all good things have to come to an end.
What's the verdict, book or movie? I know I'll be asked this one and honestly, I'm disappointed I didn't read the book first. I ordered it right after I left the theater, and it came from Amazon today. According to Bana in today's USA Today, "It's a really difficult novel to adapt. I was very concerned." McAdams expressed concern about retaining the "point" of the novel. I wish I could tell you my opinion on this, but having not read the book, I felt the movie was a beautiful work of art and a moving portrayal of true love's depth and the obstacles that inevitably plague the feeling we all long for at the end of the day.
To love and be loved... and if possible, in that rare, cosmic way that defies all logic. For as Clare says, "[Henry] was always here - even when he wasn't."
I carry your heart with me; I carry it in my heart. ee cummings
The dawn is breaking A light shining through You're barely waking And I'm tangled up in you
But I'm open, you're closed Where I folow, you'll go I wory I won't see your face Light up again
Even the best fall down sometimes Even the wrong words seem to rhyme Out of the doubt that fills my mind I somehow find, you and I collide
I'm quiet, you know You make a first impression I've found i'm scared to know I'm always on your mind
Even the best fall down sometimes Even the stars refuse to shine Out of the back you fall in time You somehow find, you and I collide
Don't stop here I've lost my place I'm close behind
Even the best fall down sometimes Even the wrong words seem to rhyme Out of the doubt that fills your mind You somehow find, you and I collide
Ahh, karma. Sometimes you love it, sometimes you hate it. Tuesday, I loved it.
Remember when I told you about Jodi Picoult's literary masterpiece, My Sister's Keeper? I told you how phenomenal it was and how it impacted me deeply because the story hit too close to home? The story resonated with me day and night, and I was counting down the days until its matching movie would be released - Friday, June 26th. I told you how scared I was about the movie doing the book injustice, how it had to be impossible to maintain the emotion Jodi Picoult so passionately crafted, to maintain the pulse of each character's struggle to fight through their family's battle with cancer.
Well, I completely, randomly stumbled upon two advanced-screening tickets to the movie, so Jonathan and I went up to a Cleveland theater last night, braved the crowds and media and police officers, and saw "my movie" a few days early. Now mind you, we are not VIP people. I am your average-girl-next-door who dates an average-web-designer-guy, and we live average lives full of things that are not even in the neighborhood of scoring advanced movie passes, not to mention advanced movie passes to my movie. Crazy, crazy...
But enough about that...
A little refresher?
Brian and Sara Fitzgerald have two beautiful children, Jesse and Kate. When Kate, their baby, comes down with a rare form of leukemia, they exhaust their options to save her. All but one, that is. So stopping at nothing, Brian and Sara, through in vitro fertilization, conceive a child to be an exact bone marrow match for Kate. At birth, Anna's cord is immediately taken to treat Kate. But the line is not drawn there. As Kate continues to go in and out of disease and remission, Anna is always there to share blood or cells or whatever Kate medically needs. After all, she is a perfect genetic match for her older sister - she was created just for that purpose. Brian and Sara seem to lose sight of anything but Kate, helping Kate get better, curing Kate. When Kate is hospitalized, Anna is usually right there too, undergoing surgeries, procedures, and needles to help her sister get better. Meanwhile? Their family is breaking at the seams. Tension abounds. Jesse is left to fend for himself. Anna is sure she's invisible. Finally, at the age of 13 - for reasons you will be shocked to hear - Anna decides to sue her parents for the rights to her own body. Kate needs a kidney, and there, Anna has to draw the line.
In the movie, the characters are so believable that you feel like you are joining the family. Cameron Diaz gets to play the intricate Sara, and I think her fiercely determined performance - as well as Jason Patric's objective and tender Brian - was spot-on. Abigail Breslin did a powerful and convincing rendition of Anna, and Sofia Vassilieva will surprise you at the strength, passion and courage she lends to her character, cancer-stricken Kate. All of these characters will gently move you, challenge your beliefs, and teach you what life could be like if cancer hit your child, your sister, yourself as a young girl.
I was honestly scared that the movie would be a forged, fumbled mess of a story trying to follow such a sacred, breathtaking novel, but I was pleasantly surprised. With a few intelligent changes and story twists, the film was basically a lighter, more concise, direct form of the book. Where the book used descriptive words and beautiful explanations, the film used talented actors who subtly added shouting emotion to their roles, leaving you jarred with the heaviness of the elements and the touching capacity of the story's gentle tenderness.
Somethin' in your eyes, makes me wanna lose myself Makes me wanna lose myself, in your arms There's somethin' in your voice, makes my heart beat fast Hope this feeling lasts, the rest of my life
If you knew how lonely my life has been And how long I've been so alone And if you knew how I wanted someone to come along And change my life the way you've done
It feels like home to me, it feels like home to me It feels like I'm all the way back where I come from It feels like home to me, it feels like home to me It feels like I'm all the way back where I belong
A window breaks, down a long, dark street And a siren wails in the night But I'm alright, 'cause I have you here with me And I can almost see, through the dark there is light
Well, if you knew how much this moment means to me And how long I've waited for your touch And if you knew how happy you are making me I never thought that I'd love anyone so much
It feels like home to me, it feels like home to me It feels like I'm all the way the back where I come from It feels like home to me, it feels like home to me It feels like I'm all the way back where I belong
My Sister's Keeper, the movie, was done by Nick Cassavetes, director of tearjerkers the Notebook and Walk to Remember. The Notebook worked because of its timeless love story and charming chemistry, and Walk to Remember worked because of its feel-good story and its role of anchoring the sappy storyline debut in a my generation's teen film genre. My Sister's Keeper, however, worked because of Picoult's mastery, an amazing cast, and the fearlessness of accurate portrayals. Cancer wasn't made out to be the quiet disease it isn't. There were nosebleeds, bruises, dry lips, incontinence, and vomiting of blood. There was yelling and screaming. A soon-ending life wasn't made out to be a fairy tale with Walk to Remember underscores. There were pursuits, tears, promises, and passion. When it's the end, there's no time for wishing this or that happened, being frustrated you never whatever or whatever. The movie recognizes this.
I've been at many of these places in my life, and I didn't realize until halfway through the movie that my jaw was clenched with my teeth digging into my left index finger. Jonathan has taken the time to become a part of my history and to understand so much about my past struggles that after the film, he admitted to me that he had to distance himself at many points. I also called my mom and told her under no circumstance was she to see this movie - if the bone marrow scene didn't get to her (she heard me screaming during mine and subsequently spent the time throwing up in the bathroom), then surely another scene would - perhaps where the doctor diagnoses toddler Kate with leukemia or where teenage Kate uses all of her strength to comfort her grieving mom. If you recognize something in your life being similar to the storyline, I'm going to warn you that it will be hard to watch, but if you're willing to face the disgusting injustice of childhood cancer and see how it really impacts a family, this is a must-see film.
I'm so glad that the destruction of an ill child's battle was not painted eternally-sunny like a Disney movie or even cheesy and trying-too-hard like a Lifetime Movie. Accurately, Cameron Diaz's relentless fight became weary and almost automatic. Being a child shoved from dress-up and play dates into cold hospitals and illness was portrayed realistically - kicking and screaming before a procedure, a bone marrow aspiration scene in which a large needle drills into a thick hipbone of a tiny girl, and parents confronting the unimaginable... and at the point of an adolescent, having one too many painful days until enough is enough and you just want it all to end, be it by a mouthful of drugs or some other means. Whether you'd like to admit it or not, these scenes are nothing but reality to the lives of many families all over the world. This movie is accurate, and it's hard to watch, yes. But, like I said, I believe this is a must-see film. The world needs to get a glimpse into the world of what life could be like and to in turn be grateful for each day of health, each day of life, each day of sunshine. I hope Jodi Picoult got a ton of money from selling her story to Warner Brothers, but most of all, I hope she is proud of how the book to movie transition was orchestrated, and I hope she gains lots of new readers as a result. I hope her fresh, haunting, all-too-realistic story shakes lives and humbles its viewers.
Be brave and go see this movie. Peek into the lives of too many people on this planet. Hug your children and be thankful for their health. Live your life with passion and without regrets.
I realize then that we never have children, we receive them. And sometimes it's not for quite as long as we would have expected or hoped. But it is still far better than never having had those children at all.
She pushes back from me, until she can look me in the eye. "Don't be," she says fiercely. "Because I 'm not." She tries to smile, tries so damn hard. "It was a good one, Mom, wasn't it?"
I bite my lip, feel the heaviness of tears. "It was the best," I answer.
I'm back! Today is Pool Day, and it's too hot outside (97* yesterday!), so I will sit inside and blog. Sounds like a good idea to me! :)
Well I believe I left off right before Saturday, which was a fabulous day. Definitely one of the best. We commenced our day at Animal Kingdom where I had to pass on my Minnie ears and buy some leopard print Mickey ears, you know, to get in the wildlife-jungle-safari spirit! We watched a few shows like the Lion King and Finding Nemo and walked all around and met Lilo & Stitch (much to Nikki's excitement... she is convinved Stitch is Haylie) By mid-afternoon, I was bored in my least favorite park, the Percocet wasn't doing enough for my back, and I was falling asleep during shows, so I took the bus back to the condo while my parents and sister stayed to ride the you-will-get-soaked rafting ride, etc. I was much more comfortable doing nothing but catching up on my beauty sleep for my evening with Minnie and Cinderella.
Once everyone else got back, I hurried to get ready, and Dad and I went to the park earlier than our dinner reservations so I could see Minnie Mouse. The line was so long that Mom and Nikki, trailing behind, actually got to join us for 2/3 of the line and meet Minnie & Mickey as well. By the time we were at the front of the line, I was jumping up and down like an excited little kid. (True excitement or the Percocet... it's your call!) Minnie was so excited to see me for like the billionth time of my life, and I reminded her that she is my favorite!! We took pictures and got autographs and hung out for a few minutes until I felt bad for the little kids in line so I said goodbye and Mickey gave me a kiss. (Don't worry Jonathan, he's just a mouse.)
Of course, it was almost time for our dinner reservations at Cinderella Castle, so we checked in there and waited for Cinderella to come down. While we were waiting, one of her coachman played a few games with us.
Can you name the 15 Disney movies with one-word names? ("The" doesn't count) Bambi, Cars, Aladdin, Cinderella, Fantasia, Pinocchio, Hercules, Mulan, Tarzan, Pocahontas, Ratatouille, Dumbo, Dinosaurs, Bolt, Wall-E
Can you name the 7 Disney movies that contain absolutely no human characters? Robin Hood, Cars, Lion King, A Bug's Life, Chicken Little, Dinosaurs, Bambi
What are the only 4 wishes the Genie could not grant? Can't make anyone fall in love, can't kill anybody, can't raise the dead
What are the names of Cinderella's stepmother and stepsisters? Lady Tremaine, Anastasia, Drizella
What are the names of the 4 fairies in Sleeping Beauty? Flora, Fauna, Merryweather, Malificent
Name the 7 dwarfs. Dopey, Sneezy, Bashful, Doc, Sleepy, Grumpy, Happy
I have to admit, I let the little kids answer first, but none of them knew so I scored the most points at all that Disney trivia. When you're raised on it, you don't really forget it. :)
Before long, Cinderella came down, and we all lined up to meet her. Nikki and I went first, and of course, I was so excited! We took lots of pictures with her, and then we went to wait for our Royal Invitation. A castle attendant gave us magic wands and swords for us to take up to the dining room with us, and once we had the Royal Invitation, we proceeded up the 40-step spiral staircase to Cinderella's Royal's Table. We were seated right at the window and were called "King, " "Queen," and "Princess" for the entire evening while we were waited on like royalty. Our waiter was accommodating and efficient, and a palace worker delivered an 8x10 and a packet full of 4x6s of our portrait with Cinderella. Also, a perk of a 9:25 reservation is having great seats to see the 10pm fireworks show, Wishes. The lights dimmed and the show's music played just as if we were outside the castle watching in the dark. We had fabulous seats to see the beautiful fireworks through the castle windows, and it was such a magical experience. Next, our meals were served, and I enjoyed my pasta and grilled chicken. We even got dessert - ice cream! We were surprised when Cinderella's mice came out, followed by the Fairy Godmother. They sang and danced around the dining room and put on a show for us. The Fairy Godmother told us that she's our Fairy Godmother, too, and whatever we wish for and dream of will come true if we believe enough.
After our wonderful dinner, we had a little bit of time to ride Dad's favorite ride, Pirates of the Caribbean, before going back home. So we sailed and yo-ho, yo-ho'ed as the last riders of the day. After that, we left the beautifully illuminated nighttime park and crashed into bed.
Sunday was Disney Hollywood Studios Day. For all of my life, this place was called MGM Studios, and although the new name better suits the park, it's long and annoying to say. Just my personal opinion. Anyways... by the time we got up after our big night, we rolled into DHS just shy of noon. We rode the Great Movie Ride before our lunch reservations at 50s Prime Time Cafe, a restaurant styled just like home in the 1950s. (The server is your "cousin," and "Mom" is in the back cooking the food. You will get in trouble if you're wearing a hat or resting your elbows on the table!) After our delicious, homestyle lunch, we did all kinds of things around the park, some together, some by myself, some with just Dad, some with just Mom... it was pretty crazy. I saw the Voyage of the Little Mermaid and the Beauty and the Beast shows, two of my favorites, and then while Mom and Nikki were seeing the stunts show, Dad and I saw Muppet Vision 3D, one of his favorites. All 4 of us saw the High School Musical 3: Senior Year show, thanks to my sister, and then we participated as audience members in the American Idol Experience, which was so fun. Then, we did Star Tours, and Dad got sick, and other unnamed people were crabby, so we ended up going back to the room. Nikki wanted to go back to Magic Kingdom to ride Big Thunder Mountain Railroad, the Tomorrowland rocket ride, and Dumbo, so Mom took her back in to do just that. Dad went to bed, and I chilled and finished my Jodi Picoult book. :)
The thing about Disney is that you cannot go-go-go-go from morning until night for days and days. About 2 days of that and you'll be burnt out for the rest of the trip. One of the books I saw said the average person walks 6-7miles/day at Disney, and that's in this heat and humidity that can often be unbearable. Sure, Disney is amazingly fun, but it's hot, and exhausting, and there's lines and cranky kids and tired adults, and well, you just can't do it all without a rest here and there.
Today, everyone wanted to have a relaxing day before heading back home. Dad is out fishing, Mom is by the pool, I'm here blogging, and my sister is still asleep. We're pretty much "Disney'ed-out" and ready to go home. We've had a truly wonderful time, and we've all been able to enjoy the break from our day-to-day monotony and have some magical fun.
Later today, we girls will probably hit up the "other" outlet mall in the area, the one where I bought the Crocs flip flops, the one that is the 2nd largest outlet mall in the world. (Yay!!) Then, we have dinner reservations at one of our favorites, Whispering Canyon Cafe at the Wilderness Lodge.
Tomorrow, we fly home... I think our flight is around 2? Not sure. But I believe I heard something about getting home at 4-something. Can't wait to see my puppies and my fiance!
A chick flick is one thing, but this one?? Maybe you'll send your guy a free pass out of it, too. (Unless he's a complete, total jerk... in that case, take him twice!!!!)
Women's history, women's awareness, whatever. It's all about us. It's about our rights, it's about our safety, it's about our strength, it's about how far we've come and how far we still have to go. It's about how amazing we are, it's about what we are capable of, it's about what we have shrunk down and succumbed to, it's about what we have stood up and protected. It's about our mothers, it's about our daughters, it's about our best friends. It's about the first female presidential candidate, it's about the female CEOs, it's about the stay at home moms, the working moms, the women at the halfway houses, the women with the strength to pick up the phone and get help. It's about the rape victims, the verbally abused, the precious women who have been circumcised and mutilated. It's about us who have been violated, and it's about us who pray for those who have.
1 out of every 3 women worldwide will be beaten or raped during their lifetime. Are you kidding me? Women of the world, it's time to stand up and BE THE CHANGE YOU WISH TO SEE.
Stop ignoring what is being done to us. We are one, are we not? Don't be blind. We have come such a long way, but we still have so far to go. We need some more dignity, just a little more strength, and a louder voice. Speak up. Promote awareness, promote safety, promote speaking out. Each and everyone one of us is priceless, so valuable. No matter how worthless any one of us thinks we may be, we are quite the opposite. Don't be another statistic.
Please - take the time to watch this video. Let's all be mature here. No giggling. No stopping the video after 30 seconds because you're embarrassed. Watch it to the end and hear what Eve Ensler has to say.
It might just change your life.
Let's hear it for the vajayjays!!! Vagina warriors, march on!!!
Quotes from Eve: When we give in the world what we want the most, we heal the broken part inside each of us... Happiness exists in action. It exists in telling the truth, in saying what your truth is. And it exists in giving away what you want the most.
Okay, not a chick flick at all.... but I still liked it.
Sooo... Jonathan and I have been totally waiting for *Awake* to hit theaters (yesterday). Starring Jessica Alba (Jonathan's favorite, ahem ahem lol) and Hayden Christensen, the trailer kind of set it up to be a somewhat romantic film, and deep inside I know I was hoping that the guy would get the heart transplant and love would prevail, and the girl would be there for him and well, all that good stuff. However, that wasn't exactly the case. Instead, the movie started out like that, but what the trailer set up to be expected as a doctor's ulterior motive just kind of turns out to be a much more complicated thing, and not to ruin the story, but by the time the movie ends, the love story aspect of the movie has come screeching to a halt. But for some reason *Awake* wasn't bad. Not bad at all. Enjoyable, actually. And I must say that the unpredictability was refreshing. Once I got past the initial shock of What? They don't live happily ever after?! I found that I had an appreciation for the rapid myriad of plot twists that wrap up the film right at the very end.
Call me whatever you must, but I almost feel like I need to turn on a good chick flick tonight to kind of cleanse my head or something. But at the same time, I would definitely go see *Awake* again. It was charming, confusing, and ultimately refreshing, and who couldn't enjoy 75 minutes of that, especially while sitting next to the love of your life, holding hands and sharing kisses? <3
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c*est moi!
Amanda
I am 22 & currently spend my days nannying my itty bitties + going to college (working on my nursing degree, goal: pediatric oncology) & am honored to be a published writer in a nursing anthology & a contributor to many scrapbooking publications. i love hanging with my amazing friends, sister & family. i love my baby puppy haylie brooke and our silly doggie ri-ri. in my rare spare time, i read & get crafty. i thrive on organization, my mac repertoire, learning & absolute fabulosity. my favorite place in the world is paris. my favorite color is pink. i love being a nurse & i believe each one of my patients is precious. i'm a night owl & wish my lifestyle promoted such habits. i like lazy jammie days. i believe in god and am thankful for his hand on my life. i believe that life is too short to be anything but happy, & i’m thankful that a chronic liver disease + the effects of a car accident have taught me important values that most people learn far too late. i hope that the world will find hope, and my idea of a good day is one in which i made someone smile :)
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Ahh, karma. Sometimes you love it, sometimes you hate it. Tuesday, I loved it.
